Wow, welcome to the forum, I can totally relate to where you're at.
It took me 2 yrs to figure out my xbf was an alcoholic. Many times of him breaking my boundaries and doing cocaine while drunk, after promising me he'd no longer do cocaine anymore, cuz I just can't have that in my life.
This last time he did coke, he finally admitted he had a "drinking problem" *eupehmism warning!* Begged me to stay...said he'd get help...therapy, etc. Said he'd make SERIOUS CHANGES.
I stayed but I said, I need to see you at least 30 days sober-til then, you're on probation. I wanted to see if he was serious, and I figured if he couldn't stay 30 days, then he would have to admit he had a problem.
He was like your gf while not drinking. Really irritable. Jumpingout of his skin. He made it 3 weeks, then decided "3 weeks is enough", and after all, it's July 4th-good excuse to drink.
I told him, well, you know, you're breaking your promise, and I told you the consequences...you wanna go drink, go drink. But that means I'm out of your life. He basically was cool with that.
Which killed me inside, but I knew in order to maintain my self-respect, I had to stick to MY promise, which was to leave. I changed my number, blocked him on email...I've gotten to the point where I've said, enough is enough. Maybe losing me will make him realize his problem? Maybe not? It all depends on whether he's ready.
I've seen people lose job after job and rel'ship after rel'ship and STILL not get help. Everyone's bottom is different, and if there's one thing I've learned, is most people have to hit bottom before they get help. And they cannot stay sober without help.
I have to let go of any outcome related to him, though, and just look out for me, at this point.
Oh and btw, I also got really angry with him, sent him a bunch of mean text messages. I said some pretty hateful things. Please be gentle wiht yourself that you did that. You're human! This is a frustrating situation you're in-I've never been through anything more painful than loving an alcoholic, and I've been through some s**t before, trust me.
Please stay here and post...get help...this is a great place. I encourage you to read the stickies!
Welcome
