Hello Ladyb and Welcome
I'm sorry to hear about what has happened to you over the last years and what you are contending with currently.
Sandrawg just posted a link to an article that I found to be very informative and might get you started. How to live (or not live) with an alcoholic-Associated Content.
Blush...I can't link this but if you go to the thread " I thought I was getting better at detaching...." written by "Whyamistaying" you will find the post with the link. It's about 2 or 3 from the bottom.