Originally Posted by
luciddreamrgrl 
feel you. It took me two months to be ready and even though I left, I still question wether I was really ready. My point is, are we ever really ready to lose someone we love?but you have to ask yourself if this is really what you want for the rest of your life. If it isn't, then you need to accept that and take action sooner rather than later.
I think it hit me in March when he went to rehab. Slowly, I am getting it. I do hate him. That is mean, I know. But I hate him. I have a TON of anger towards him.
I did better tonight. I changed the guinea pig cage and found a bag of crushed beer cans he is hiding from me and I didn't go balistic. Just moved them to get my piggy cage newspaper and then put them back.
It is so hard. Because I think I'll never find someone. I am taking my kids away from their dad. I'd like to think I am shielding them a bit from this. I don't fight in front of them, but ever since rehab, my oldest is so afraid of her daddy not coming back...he was gone for 30 days...that every single day she asks me "when is daddy coming home?" I just feel like if I can stick it out, do the bare minimum maybe it is better for them?