I just went through something very similar. My ex relapsed and it was a violation of his probation...so now he is in jail as well. He didn't even tell me about the court date. I have thought of calling and getting his info so I can write to him, but I didn't and I know I shouldn't...that doesn't mean that I don't think about it on a daily basis though. I also felt like I should call the sober living place he was at and see if anyone picked up his clothes and whatever he had left (I am sure he sold stuff so he could get high) but then I think if he was using and missed drug tests, he might very well not have been living there for some time now, so I didn't. I know no one else will call, but why should I be stuck picking up the pieces. I have this chance right now to pu this all behind me and move on. He has no way to contact me except via mail because all I have is a cell phone and he can only make collect calls. Since he has no one else to put money orders in the canteen for him he has no way to get stamps...therefore no contact....and that's exactly what I need right now. I know there is a good possibility that if I get even some form of contact from him that I will get sucked back in. I too hoped that once day things would get back to the way they were...but I am just kidding myself at this point. So my friend...hugs to you. It's time to take back your life and start living for you again. I know what your going through, and it hurts and we think about them all the time...the could have...would have...should have...but its time to let go an move on. Hugs to you, be strong and take your life back.