When I finally (after years of deliberation) left my XA, he told me "I'd become someone he didn't recognize," and someone who was "just focused on my own life." I can't tell you how hurt and confused I was by comments like that. I let them cut me.
But I would come to learn that I was GLAD I'd become someone he didn't recognize.
I was GLAD I was focused on my own life, because he had come to see me as someone who existed solely to support HIS life.
He didn't recognize me because -- just like you -- I had decided not to be a doormat any more. I had decided to no longer take his abuse. I had decided it wasn't good enough for me any more, because I have only one "wild and precious life" and I wasn't going to find the joy I wanted while I was with him. It was like standing by an empty well, praying for the water to come.
It hurt, mentallyaxh, but once I was away from the abuse, the comments, the manipulation, the drinking...........my life opened up to exactly the kind of happiness and love that I'd always craved.
Your daughter will be just fine, in fact she will be better if she's not forced to live with an active alcoholic parent.
And as far as "0 for 2" goes: I married at 40. I had several deep, long-term relationships with alcoholics before that, all of whom ended badly. I could look at that as being "0 for 4" or I could look at that as fine-tuning what I did and didn't want for my life.
With every step you take toward building a happy life, you win.