DesertEyes

Hello there riaerif, and pleased to "meet" you

That line jumped out at me cuz that is _exactly_ the way I used to feel about _me_. I came from a toxic family too, alcholics all around. Messed up my head in a big way.

That is the secret that freed me from the "chains" of my parents cycle of insanity. You say you won't let your children become like you, well that means that your children are healthy _now_. That's important, because it was something I didn't understand for a long time. Here's the secret:

_All_ children are born healthy. So was I. And so were you, riaerif. As a newborn baby you were born just like me and everybody else in the world. _healthy_.

All the cray stuff in my head I _learned_. That means that if I _learned_ it, then I can _unlearn_ it and choose to learn something else. That is what I have done. I found me a couple good therapists, and some good meetings of 12 step programs, and I _taught_ myself how to be healthy.

You know what? Your post is full of you saying what is not healthy about the things you do. That means you _understand_ what's not healthy, which clearly your Mom does not. you are _here_, sharing your story and looking for answers.

Just from reading your one post I can see that you are already starting on your path to a new life. And the biggest thing of all is that you _love_ your children in ways that nobody ever loved you. There's no doubt, you are much healthier than your mother.

Welcome to recovery, riaerif. You're going to get yourself a brand new life just the way you want it. The same as all the rest of us here are getting our own new lives. I'm glad you decided to join us.

Mike