Amen.
But you did. And now it's done (thank god).
And so maybe -- maybe -- it's time to tell ALL of your friends that you do NOT want to hear one more story, one more bit of gossip, one more little tidbit they read in the paper, one more rumor. For any reason.
First, naturally, YOU have to decide that you are done with it. It doesn't look like you are yet. You still want to hear it, for whatever reason (and we've all been there, myself included, so we understand
) You will not yet stop someone in mid-sentence when they say, "I read that he..." and say, "STOP. I really don't want to hear one more word about him."
These things you allow into your life may be juicy with emotion, but they do not help you move forward. They drag you backward into being "sick to your stomach" again. They suck energy from your efforts to build a beautiful adult life. They chip away at your available time alive, here on the shore of the sixty-odd more years you'll be walking around on this planet creating joy, miss.
Are you finished yet? "No" is a perfectly honest and acceptable answer -- we all heal at our own pace, and no one has the right to rush you along. But at least KNOW that you're saying it, with every day you allow someone to do this to you. You're saying, "No, please continue to hurt me, so-called friend" and "No, it's okay, his choices are still allowed to ruin my day," and "No, I'm content to stay in this supermarket tabloid mindspace for now, thank you."
I only say these things because a) we love you here, and b) I hate to see how much power you still give him. You throw your day-to-day happiness on the ground beneath that awful meat sack's feet so he can grind it into the dust, over and over.
What a party we'll all have here on the day when you say, "Oh my god, I can't believe I gave a damn about the stupid things he did. What a jack*** he is."
And we will dance. Oh yeah.