I am sorry that you are faced with such hurt and pain. The addict in my life is my husband and I have been down this same road many times. The difference is now I fully understand that I have to say what I mean, mean what I say, and don't say it mean. I have also come to listen very carefully to that small inter voice that tells me something just ain't right.
So, you follow your instincts and stick to your words. It is the only way to keep the insanity at a distance. Good luck, my friend.