ugh!

Old 06-28-2009, 06:11 PM
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ugh!

I just caught my wife huffing again... ugh!!!! am kicking her out (again) as we speak. she's crying and insisting she didn't do it. but i heard the sound, came in the room, she tried to cover it up with a pillow, and then i heard her put the can on the floor under her bed. she's like sobbing right now, while i'm saying just get the eff out. she's swearing she didn't do it... that it was a spray paint can, and was working on some kind of "art project" and saying i should realize that she couldn't possibly huff spray paint cans. so, i'm thinking she had one can to huff, and other paint cans nearby to cover up with.... ugh ugh ugh. okay, she just left. i hate this. it's horrible. we had such a great 24 hours prior to tonight. we went to a wedding yesterday, and ate and danced, sober.... it felt like a whole new beginning. she was supposed to move back in in a week (terms were that she had 30 days clean, and is in a rehab program). she already violated the clean aspect by huffing before, and i negotiated by extending the 30-days clean by one week, rather than the whole 30 days. this is what i get for negotiating with my addict. word to the wise, don't do it. well, now the apartment is empty again, and soon i will feel sad and start sobbing myself. but right now i am majorly angry. thank god i'm sober, so i can feel that anger, and whatever emotions come next. she says she has no were to go now, and i am saying, well, youre a social worker, you know where the homeless shelters are. a part of me is scared that i was somehow mistaken..... starting to doubt myself, but really, the truth is obvious. i just have to stick with my instincts. thanks for all your support folks.
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Old 06-28-2009, 07:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Faith444 View Post
she was supposed to move back in in a week (terms were that she had 30 days clean, and is in a rehab program). she already violated the clean aspect by huffing before, and i negotiated by extending the 30-days clean by one week, rather than the whole 30 days. this is what i get for negotiating with my addict.
Now you know. If you give an addict an inch, they will take a mile.

I'm sorry for your pain, but it's time for her to face the consequences of her addiction.

Hang in there! :ghug :ghug
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Old 06-28-2009, 07:51 PM
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It's heart breaking when what we think is a new beginning becomes just another lie... The addict in my life is my son, but I so know the heartbreaking disappointment when the promises becomes lies. I'm sorry dude, I truly am...but as we hear over and over, the truth is..we can't control it..we just don't have that power. I don't get the fact that the drug is more important than life to them either...I just don't get it. But it's not our place to 'get it' I suppose. If you have faith in a HP, I suggest praying for acceptance and strength to react and act as your HP would want you to in order to help your wife come into the light that is there for her. If only they could see it is within their grasp if only they would accept it. Unfortunately, only they can reach out for that...I will pray that your wife sees that and soon comes to give herself up to it..
God Bless...
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Old 06-29-2009, 07:01 AM
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I am sorry that you are faced with such hurt and pain. The addict in my life is my husband and I have been down this same road many times. The difference is now I fully understand that I have to say what I mean, mean what I say, and don't say it mean. I have also come to listen very carefully to that small inter voice that tells me something just ain't right.

So, you follow your instincts and stick to your words. It is the only way to keep the insanity at a distance. Good luck, my friend.
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Old 06-29-2009, 08:04 AM
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I feel your pain. If only our love and our desire for a new beginning could actually make a difference. I felt like my AH and I started over every month. I would forgive him and do all I could to give him hope - ah, if only he had enough hope and enough forgiveness -this would all stop. And how joyous it felt to have one of those 24 hours of bliss...I used to always say, When it is good with him - it is REALLY good, but when it is bad - it is REALLY bad.

I am so sorry that you have had this pain again. I am really struck by your remark about feeling your own anger. It is so easy to forget to do that when the addict in our life hurts us. Feel the anger. A great lesson for me today as well. Thank you.

I hope today we can all find something kind to do for ourselves. It is so easy to give to everyone but us, isnt it? It is time to be a true friend, a true believer, and a protector for ourselves.
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Old 06-29-2009, 12:40 PM
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:sorry

I agree with Freedom1990... you give them an inch they will take a mile. I am so sorry for your pain... and I will be praying for you.
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