ugh!
I just caught my wife huffing again... ugh!!!! am kicking her out (again) as we speak. she's crying and insisting she didn't do it. but i heard the sound, came in the room, she tried to cover it up with a pillow, and then i heard her put the can on the floor under her bed. she's like sobbing right now, while i'm saying just get the eff out. she's swearing she didn't do it... that it was a spray paint can, and was working on some kind of "art project" and saying i should realize that she couldn't possibly huff spray paint cans. so, i'm thinking she had one can to huff, and other paint cans nearby to cover up with.... ugh ugh ugh. okay, she just left. i hate this. it's horrible. we had such a great 24 hours prior to tonight. we went to a wedding yesterday, and ate and danced, sober.... it felt like a whole new beginning. she was supposed to move back in in a week (terms were that she had 30 days clean, and is in a rehab program). she already violated the clean aspect by huffing before, and i negotiated by extending the 30-days clean by one week, rather than the whole 30 days. this is what i get for negotiating with my addict. word to the wise, don't do it. well, now the apartment is empty again, and soon i will feel sad and start sobbing myself. but right now i am majorly angry. thank god i'm sober, so i can feel that anger, and whatever emotions come next. she says she has no were to go now, and i am saying, well, youre a social worker, you know where the homeless shelters are. a part of me is scared that i was somehow mistaken..... starting to doubt myself, but really, the truth is obvious. i just have to stick with my instincts. thanks for all your support folks.