Daisy, last night I came back and read your post again. This was after the four of us briefly knocked heads with each other and the walls, too. We all got away from each other pretty quickly but I found myself squirming trying to find calm. I wanted to do something about our dust up but made myself just let it all be, explore my feelings.
That's the calm I'm talking about. It's taken me years -- all my life damnit! -- to sit back and reflect instead of taking impulsive action. It took me a few hours to get familiar with my thoughts and feelings, though they weren't all positive. My therapist told me this is the beginning of wisdom.