chrysalis wow. I like how you did that. Showed me all of the bad things in my post. I must say that I have been wondering a lot lately, if I really knew him. All of the wonderful confessions of being in love and us being "soul mates" were all said to me while he was drunk. He even told me he loved me for the first time when he was drunk. All of the magical moments I experienced with him were while we were drinking or HE was drinking.
Once, he took me to a Christmas party and made me really enjoy dancing for the first time. He was so wasted by the end of the party, I had to practically carry him back to the hotel room. Then the next day, he did not remember anything.
Our cruise we went on, was awesome. But he was so drunk each night that I had to secretly tell the bartender to cut him off and give him virgin drinks. Then, when it was over, he drove me home for 2 hours while he was drunk. He put my life in danger that day. I will never forget how scared I was. He even got two bloody marys when he first woke up. He said he "needed" it to drive us home.
Most of the time, when he was not drinking, he was moody and cranky. He would get irritated with my son and I. He was too hard on my son. My son is very sensative and he never seemed to SEE how much my son loved him and wanted his approval. A 5 year old should never have to work at getting someone's approval.
It really is sad. At this point, even if he did get help, I'm not sure I could stay with him. How do I know the drinking part of him was the only part of him that loved me? Did he only love me when he was drunk or high? Yikes. What a scary thought.
TakingCharge,
That would have been horrible. Just the thought of seeing my exbf right now makes me queezy. I can't imagine having to see him with another woman. We still live right down the street from each other and I have a fear every day that I will see him riding in his car with another woman. The thought of it makes me sick. I have dreams every night that he's sleeping with other women.
Thank you all to the rest of you for taking your valuable time to answer me. You honestly don't know what it means to me to have this kind of support. I don't have a whole lot of friends as I'm still young and I'm not a big fan of the party scene. I'm sitting at home alone right now.
I need to get out more.