Originally Posted by
luciddreamrgrl 
But I just can't help missing him. The real him. The him that doesn't drink!
Our relationship started out with drinking. He's a binge drinker.
The binging occurred every time he went out with his friends and 4 times a week or so at home.
He has no control over himself. He would begin drinking and not stop until he passed out.
He frequently would not remember the night before.
He would drive drunk constantly.
His first job he got fired from for being late. He would stay up late drinking, sleep in and show up late.
How he keeps his job, I do not know. He doesn't show up until 10 or 11 o'clock every day.
He works from home sometimes and when he does, he's drinking the whole time.
I have heard him on conferance calls where he is slurring his speech.
He was so irritated with it that he replaced the alcohol with weed. He started smoking it EVERY day.
I gave another ultimatum and he again tried quitting both. Within a month he was back to the drinking AND smoking weed on top of it.
Hi Sarah. I am sorry you are hurting right now but I know in my case the bad days were just a phase of my recovery. I had to grieve the fantasy I concocted in my head about the person I was with. You see, just like your guy, right from the beginning my guy showed me who he was. He was quite consistent in this, but the problem was I did not want to believe what was right in front of my eyes. 20 years later, after much heartache on my part, I decided to open my eyes and look at what was really going on square in the face. I regret it took me so long.
You wrote, " But I just can't help missing him. The real him. The him that doesn't drink!"
Sarah, when I read through what you wrote, I wonder when that happens?
I am so glad you found us. Welcome.