Okay, well since I was the child of an addict this might be a little different but that's how my family went sort of:
Our family would seem fine and dandy out in public. There were no scenes or screaming at each other outside the house. We acted like a real family and after my mom told me at the age of 11 or so what was really going on with him (I knew at the age of 9 he was "taking things he wasn't supposed to" but I didn't know much about drugs) she told me I wasn't to tell anyone else and this was to be kept within our family as it was nobody else's business. In the house it was a little different.. lots of fight and maniac screaming. Cops every once in a while.
My dad went to rehab a 2nd time when I was 9 and he stayed clean for about a year after he got out. This didn't mean he was a fit father. He was the equivilence of a dry drunk (I don't know how to describe it in addict terms). Lots of fighting and lying, but again, that stayed in the house.
My mom couldn't trust him anymore, none of us could, even though he was clean. It's gonna take a while before you get that trust back Daisy. My dad was clean almost a year and my mom still wouldn't give him any form of cash, just a credit card or a checkbook. Me and Kirby would tip-toe around him, we could never really be sure what he was up to. I think near the end of that year though we had gotten better about it. I (and Kirby probably) thought this might be the end of it and didn't act so sheepish around him.
Nothing really goes back to normal after knowing your spouse, family member, or friend is an addict. Just because they're clean doesn't mean everything's okay again. You're gonna feel a little more suspicious, but the longer they're clean I think the more it'll fade. The addict, on the other hand, knows it's different too because they've betrayed your trust and are worried you'll never like 'em again. You're right, he probably feels guilty and finds it hard to get close to you knowing that he's hurt you and his daughters (whether they know anything or not). My best suggestion would be to talk about with him and stop acting like nothing happened. You can't move forward if you don't acknowledge that something did happen and you both need to work through it. It'll take a bit for you to regain trust
