So, now what?
So here I am. My husband is trying really hard to stay off heroin. He used once since he got out of detox 5 weeks ago, but is sincere in his desire to be done. So here's my problem:
Sometimes I feel bad about posting, because compared to the experiences of so many people I see posting here, I have had a really easy time of it. We haven't really had any serious drama/loss/whatever as a result of his heroin addiction, except for it's effects on our relationship. We both seem stuck, unable to move forward and reclaim the emotional closeness we had such a short time ago. I feel like I'm staying emotionally detached, "just in case" he starts using again. And, although he hasn't said it to me directly, I think his feelings of shame and guilt are keeping him from trying to be close to me. We act like everything's fine. Anyone looking at us from the outside would see no problems. There's no fighting, no ugliness, no meanness, no lies, no drama...just an empty place inside of my heart that hurts...