Welcome to the SR family Sarah!
We're glad you found us. Read and post as much as you need.
I left my active alcoholic husband. I could not put myself and my children through any more of the walking on eggshells, planning days off to postpone the inevitable binge drunk, worrying that he was going to loose his job, get a dui and end up in jail. It was too much.
I looked at my children as my inspiration. I wanted them to believe in me, their mom. I want to show them that I respect myself enough to want a better life. I want a better life for them also.
I wanted my husband to get better also, but I learned that I could not control him, I didn't cause him to become an alcoholic and I certainly could not cure him. I needed to get out of his way and let him live his life as he wanted.
Sometimes they do decide to get better. Sometimes they do not. My ex is now sober, in AA and working his steps with a sponsor. I did not cause that. That happened because it was his time to begin a new chapter in his own life. We are happy for him. I am working on myself and growing spiritually, mentally and I am doing it one day at a time.
You will find lots of support here, make yourself at home!