In what other program, process, or subject do you get to do this and still master the concept? When you are learning a foreign language, do they say "Don't worry about learning the predicate forms if you they don't resonate with you." Don't worry about the theory of relativity while building that rocket. If you want to follow the ten commandments but "Thou shalt not kill." isn't one you care to take with you, don't worry about it.

I think that is what allows selfish, self centered, egotistical, grandiose arrogant people to fool themselves into thinking they are embracing and following the program when actually using and taking only those parts that support their need to stay in that "self" mode. I don't get it. It reinforces a denial tactic that these folks have practiced for years. They can not drink, drug, overeat, blah, or blah and still keep the same behaviors going because they were told to leave what didn't resonate. Giving up the whatever because it will kill you is one thing, but giving up the behaviors of fantabulous me? No way!

So my "thinks he is recovering not drinking" AH can date, divorce me, see his son whenever he wants which is not very much, not offer to help with this overwhelming piece of property he owns half of, etc etc because he chooses NOT to heed the warnings of no relationships in the first year, no big life decisions in the first year, making ammends to the people that loved you at your worst, etc etc.

And while I am on my soapbox, I also don't like the "stay away from people and places that will trigger" line. My husband had trouble coping with life. Amen. When life became three teenagers, very busy schedules, hormones, and all the angst of raising entitled generation me'ers in this crazy internet, cell phone, crib mtv watching, etc. he zoned out in front of the tv with a glass in his hand, and I handled the schedules and the parenting and the problems.

Now, he can't come back to his family EVER because those were the things he drank to get away from. Now, I understand that for the first year or so, and agree with the separation because I don't like the ups and downs of it anyway....but using this as an excuse to stay in your own little selfish world doing what you want when you want??? I think that they were referring to bars, drinking buds, etc. But since you can take what you want (the way you want to understand it) and leave the rest...well then, you can be damn proud of yourself that you are sticking to the guidelines of the program!!!