Hopeful, we're in similar places in life. Middle-aged parents relying on alcohol as an affordable thrill to get us through the day. But it's like joedris said: "In all my years of drinking and being sober I've never seen anything good happen to anyone because they drank." Hopeful, do you ever regret NOT drinking? I sure as hell don't. I'm only at 41 days but I've gotten past some tough summer challenges by reminding myself that as much as I want that drink NOW, I'll be even happier and better LATER by not drinking. I wake up in the morning, and even on blue days I remind myself, "At least I'm sober."
You need to break out of your routine for starters, and do whatever it takes to get through the first week. You can do it.