I feel lucky to have stumbled upon this website! It is hard for me to make AA meetings due to my job and taking care of the kids most of the time, so this is nice because it's always here. I will try to make meetings when I can.
It is wonderful to feel that I'm not alone. I have felt VERY alone in my struggle for a long time as I have not been able to talk to anyone about it.
Alcohol addiction is so strange. When I was in my teens and 20's, I was a bit of a problem drinker -- binge drinking. Then in my 30's I had no trouble at all! I never even got drunk and could drink in moderation. Suddenly I find myself in my mid-forties worse off than ever before. When I drink, I usually get drunk by myself and do the STUPIDEST things. Like contacting old boyfriends and telling them I miss them... Ugghhhh. In the morning I always dread trying to remember what I did the night before and seeing the train wreck of the e-mail trail I left behind. I am hurting myself physically and psychologically to keep doing this. An endless cycle and a hellish nightmare. I cannot sleep well when I drink heavily and have horrible dreams.
This is a very fortunate thing for me to find help here. And to start on June 21st, the beginning of summer. What better gift could I give myself?