hey sillybilly, that wasn't too long for me, you are an inspiration and your passion helps be get vigilant about being sober (thats an awesome gift). Actually you made me realise something tonight, I just got my wisdom teeth out today and I am probably the only person on the planet enjoying the experience:wtf2, your post made me realise why, I get to take huge amounts of panadeine forte, I mean seriously I'm a sicko, this is such a mind warp, I read your post and checked my mouthwash, and yeah no more pain medication for the teeth either....
My husband is a stoner and has not stopped (he is not an alcoholic) it has made getting sober a BIG challenge, however getting stoned for me was always habitual (alcohol & other drugs were different), my balcony with with friends, my lazy boy chair, music playing, TV (yes I moved my tv outside so could get stoned and watch tv at the same time. Now just looking at the the balcony and that lazyboy chair can really trigger cravings, so my husband is now out there on his own, sometimes with friends, which I cannot help it, it really makes me angry, I know its not fair but its sooo hard to watch them, I have joined them a few times, but I found it very difficult.
However seeing my friends in a different environment does not trigger the cravings so much, nor does emotional stuff, in fact i feel proud of myself for being more in tune with people and actually able to listen to their emotions and problems rather than being wasted, just not on my balcony
I guess having people in your 'stoner room' smoking is going to be a HUGE trigger, combine that with emotionally loaded situation and it is really tough, you have answered these questions yourself, you can be there for your friends but a change of environment might aliviate the pressure on you.
p.s. Thanks for sharing your spiritual experience, that is truly really special, a part of you is opening up and receptive to something strong and higher than all of us, it makes me feel humble just thinking about it!