Of course he would be ok if it wasn't for you. That is his sick logic at work. If he didn't have you to blame for his problems it would be someone else. Anything so he doesn't have to take stock of his own problems. Sounds like you had a lucky escape in the end. The loss of the dream or ideal is always very painful to deal with and it's only natural to be angry, not only with the A but with ourselves too, for not "seeing" it sooner, for pretending it wasn't happening, for making excuses and for rationalizing their awful behaviour. But you did get out and you're trying to move on, that in itself is a huge acheivement.
Try not to waste your energy on hating him, he's not worth it. Love yourself and those who matter instead. *hugs*