Cess - he's turning the tables on you and making YOU feel like the one left behind as opposed to him. What does that do to a codie (me at least?) sends me running after him to put back together what is 'mine'. I always thought no way in 'he((' is someone going to come along after he 'straightens' up and bask in everything that I've worked so hard for. He's also trying to maximize your 'drama' and minimize his 'wrongdoing'. This causes us codies (me at least) to rethink, reassess and relapse back into the R. Thinking maybe I over reacted to the sitch, or it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined. Just something to think about.
Continuing with this R is like being on the same hamster wheel chasing something that you will never catch with addiction involved. Like the donkey with the carrot on a stick dangling in front of him, forever running after something that he'll never catch. Another analogy - you know when you drop something on a windy day and you go after it? Just thinking you'll walk a few steps and pick it up, just as you reach for it the wind sweeps it away so you run farther and faster to chase it down? That's part of the codie dance for me. Always wishing, hoping, working for something that you can NEVER have with an active addict.