Sheesh. I feel self-indulgent writing this, and apologize for bothering your forum with it, as I really don’t know what I’m hoping for by doing so. I have strengthened motivation by reading your stories of how trying it is to live with a drunk. I guess I’m hoping you can beat me up and make it all so clear; but I will also understand if you consider it not worth the effort.
Perfect! guilt, victim and then martyr. You've got a case of manipulation via alcoholism.
Hi, I'm a recovering alcoholic. Welcome to the SR family. I spent a lot of time in the Newcomer's forum and the Alcoholism forum as well. I'm here in F&F and Al anon trying to continue my personal and spiritual growth and recovery from co-dependency.
Have you tried an AA meeting yet? Look in your area for an open meeting. You won't have to say a word if you don't want to. At an open meeting, you get to hear someone share their story of addiction and recovery. That right there is motivating. You also find a lot of friends, people who know what you are going through.
I hope for your personal well being, peace and serenity that you find the strength to not pick up ever again. Sobriety rocks!