Honey,
You could make a decision, right now. You could honestly say this is it, I'm not going to do this any more, ever again. Black and white.
Turn off the phone.
Think of it as both saving yourself from any more heartache and anxiety tonight, but also as the final nail in the coffin. You are done. You are NOT going to go back to him. By turning OFF the phone you are telling YOURSELF that it is over and you are done. Not him, YOURSELF. You are the one who gets to decide this, right here, tonight.
IF you are ready. If you are not, then keep texting. But if you are, turn off the phone and distract yourself for a couple hours of peace from this drama. Then tomorrow, continue to keep PEACE at the forefront of your day, as your goal. You maintain this PEACE by staying no contact. No texting, no READING any texts. Just NO MORE.
You don't do this for HIM. You do this to tell yourself this is my decision, I am making this decision for myself, and I am following through, finally.