No, you are certainly NOT being whiny, and your childhood was very abnormal. It sounds like you are just starting to come out of the denial stage and into the discovery stage. Your childhood has given you certain tools that helped you cope as a child, but they no longer work for your adult life.
I hope you continue with your discovery stage. There is much healing to be done if you want to start it. Start with some really good books on the subject. They can be found at your library or they can get them for you through inter library loans.
Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden
Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet G. Woititz
Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome: A Step By Step Guide To Discovery And Recovery by Wayne Kritsberg
Lifeskills for Adult Children by Ed.D. Janet G. Woititz and M.A. Alan Garner