They are all the same. Of course its your fault that he drinks or makes hideous choices! That way he doesn't have to look in the mirror.
My exah told me I was controlling. Yep, maybe I was. I was bitching and moaning about his drinking. Good luck finding someone that will put up with it long term. He said the demise of our marriage was we 'just couldn't get along'. I think they all sing the same song!
He is just trying to avoid pointing the finger at himself.