I'm sorry you're going through this. And it comes as no surprise to anybody here that he's back. It's the oldest trick in the book.
A question I might ask you is this: Why do you WANT to save a marriage to a man who treats you like dirt? (actually, I'm a gardener; I treat my dirt better than he's treating you) Why do you think that's the best you can aspire to? Why do you think you deserve this treatment?
He is making you feel like this is your fault. That's the second-oldest trick in the book.
We all deserve to be loved and respected. Try to get some sleep, friend, and look at this with fresh eyes tomorrow.
You are free in this moment to have any kind of life you want. The only catch: you can't change someone else into somebody they're not.
Hugs,
GL