I stayed because he was sick. But the sick was caused by the drinking, then he drank because he didn't feel well (nor did he admit that it was the cause) and he got sicker, and meaner, and crazier. And I stayed because he was sick, and he needed me to care for him. Then the surgeries, the following deep dive into abuse of the pain medicines, the subsequent plunge into truly frightening amounts of drinking, then the rehab (cause I kept thinking it was going to get better finally) I stayed.
And I stayed. And he treated me worse and worse, and treated my child worse and worse. And it never got any better, because by then it was all my fault and all me that was the problem.
Bottom line trying2help: You have to do what you feel you have to do. We all do. But, don't lose yourself in the mean time like I did.