Originally Posted by
JMFburns 
Probably not the best post for me to read at this time, but since I did I thought I'd chime in as well.
I'm finding the past couple days that I have to finally make this drastic step of cutting my son out of my life for now.
What's his problem? I don't know for sure about drugs right now, but he has a lot of mental problems that he needs to resolve, his past problems with drugs, anger, homelessness, joblessness, no more friends, rest of family (Dad & sister) have given up on him, etc. I was all he had left but he was only using me for money.
He says he needs me as a support now, but I feel it is ONLY about money. I can't say no to him no matter how many times I tell myself I'm going to so . . . I've dug myself into the worst financial hole . . . I want out.
I gotta let him go, not see him, get better. It hurts like he!! and I had to make a list of the recent ways he's scammed me so I can try to recall the anger instead of getting caught up in sympathy. Is it the right thing to do, I hope so . . . if not I'm going down with him and I don't think that is right.
I pray he finds the help he needs, that there is someone out there that will reach out a hand to him. I love him more than I love myself right now and I have to turn that around a bit.
Take care, Joan
This I get. And your not wrong. I wouldnt want anyone on my family to go through that either.
I dont think my point is coming across right.
Its not about people like JMF. That I couldnt even begin to imagine how hard that ahs to be. And soemtimes it has to be.
I am talking about how some choose to give their so called support.
Some just come across down right rude.
They will say over and over how they have what you want. But if your not going to do exactly like I say to do it. You are going to fail. I think that is total BS.
You can the same thing as those hard asses. And say it in just a little bit of a gentler way. I am not saying kiss someones ass and rub their belly. It all comes down to compassion. Compassion is not sugar coating. It isnt lieing. Its saying you understand . And that you care. Be honest and to the point. But leave out all the self riteous BS.
I still cant relay exactly what I mean without sounding arrogant myself.
Bottom line. I do believe we dont have to wash our hands completely. I believe we can still support without being victims or sacrifice ourselves.
Now if it comes down to you or them. Like JMF. Where your just as ill as they are in codependancy. Then yes. Do you first.
I am not talking about that so much.
I am referring to some that seem like they have never been on that pitiful side before. People are so sensitive when they are in active addciton. And if someone at least tries. Even if they fail and keep failing. If they have hope and try. Feed that. Dont crucify them for falling short by taking away your support. Thats all I am saying.