Originally Posted by
Freedom1990 
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. My oldest daughter was 8 when I got clean/sober, and my parenting skills sucked for many years afterwards. I too felt guilty for so much of what I had put her through, and I overcompensated.
Children need guidance and boundaries. When they are used to getting their way, they aren't happy about that at all! What I learned is I couldn't make my kids happy, and sometimes being a parent means they are upset with us!
What is it that the two of you are fighting about? I found if I walked away, regardless of how upset one of my daughters was, it wasn't a fight anymore. It takes two to fight.
:ghug :ghug
Thnaks for your kind words.
I can so relate to the overcompensation. I hate it the guilt.
We fight about choices , respect for others and herself , she have very low self esteem and at eight already is a codie, people pleasing , not feeling the as good as her friends , and the worring thing is she bringe eats when she is not feeling loved ect.
I suspose the thing we seem to fight about every day is , No matter how hard I seem to try make her happy it never seems good enough as she is so confused .
I am trying to give her as much attention as she needs , for the past eight years I was present but was always too busy to give her quailty time trying to make ends meet.
Now I have the time and am giving so much to her and fell little time for myself ,
Tonight for example .
I tucked her in , we read together I then asked her about her day , which she finds hard to talk about her feeling so usually says her day was fine I dont want to push this too much but some night we have a break through , which breaks my heart because she really does not love herself .
It all goes down hill from this point
she cant seem to be alone with her taughts and I feel her worries are usually protrated as stomach pains, I try to talk to her about what really going on for her but she get defensive , I stay as calm as can be try to reasure her about all her insecurities, telling her I love her and so forth.
She is having a hard time at school also , due to my lack of parenting up until now so she does not see herself as been as good as the rest.
I suppose I am just finding it very hard to relate to her while trying to let her be the child she shpould be
Im SO SO LOST on how to deal with her at such a tender age.