Thank you everyone for your wisdom and great advice. I have been reading as much as I can about this topic. I too, thought because he was not drinking or using drugs that he was in recovery. I now know this not to be true. I have to try and remember that I cannot control his choices, only my own. I try to do things to empower myself and the children.
He does not go to meetings and has not worked the program. I just think he learned not to drink and drug. He rarely takes responsibility for any wrong doing, never apologizes, has a lot of anger and has no barometer for his anger. Everything is a 9 or 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. (If I purchased too many groceries, I am wasteful, not enough groceries...nothing to eat; He most recently accused me of taking up too much space in the closet, but he was irate about the situation.) He was angry because I was became really sick with the flu and had to be admitted to the hospital. I asked him to bring a bag for me and he said it was not convenient. After he gets angry he will be very cold and distant and then not speak to me for a couple of days, or be hostile. I am really exhausted. Some days, I just wake up shaking because I wonder what type of day it will be today. It is so ironic, because I am a really strong and disciplined person. I think that is what initially attracted my husband to me. However now he resents those traits. I am athletic and I run. He used to run as well, but no longer. He does not support me in my running. I am giving details, because I just want those reading to perhaps recognize their own situation and not feel alone, or perhaps give me some additional advice on how to deal with these issues. Any thoughts are welcome. Thank you to all of you. You have been blessings to me. I am forever grateful not to feel alone in this situation.