Funny One, I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, I know that feeling too of just wishing to have continued being there & letting family members walk all over you. I also feel that at 48 I am too old and have no desire to start all over. I have cleaned things I never even thought about cleaning over the past few days. And now I am here .....just here........I am not sure if the alcoholic in my life is only going thru his meetings & counseling because its court ordered or because he wants a change in his life, but it feels like I probably wont be a part of the new life he finds......... so after dealing with all the ups & downs, I now have to "find" a place for myself. I feel for you .....but as long as we so very very slow day by day we will be ok.