A couple things come to mind Bella, reading your last comment:
The addiction IS the other woman. He might be as committed to recovery as he's capable of being right now, at this point in his life...my AH says he's "fixed", yet the crazy behavior is still there. So, I have to respect his decisions. If he's fixed then he's fixed, but his actions aren't anything I can live with.
I feel sometimes, that in a way I left for both of us. I too was being blamed for his behavior - so, it should be healthier for him without me there right? This was the last thing I could do for him, in my mind...get out of his way and let him get on with it.
Also, just because you can't deal with his behavior now, doesn't mean that he won't "get it" later. Just remember to watch his actions, not listen to his words.