I just want to thank all the contributors to this thread. Today my head feels like it's about to explode off my body with frustration at my situation. I am so very angry with my abf -who i feel that i no longer want in my life and have told him that but he won't accept it-
He asked me why I wanted to finish it and i told him honestly that it was becuase of his dry drunk behaviour but he just wouldnt accept it and blames me for making him behave like that. I am so angry because Ihave lost out to a condition i have no way of apealing to or saying my bit to. In many ways it would be easier if he had left me for another woman, then at least i would have a damn good reason and a physical object to vent my anger at but a condition? how do you vent at a condition? And I am angry becaus i feel he has chosen this condition over me, it feels like betrayal.
It's been wonderful to hear your thoughts about your partners and ex's attitudes towards recovery ( or non recovery ) I think when my BF said last week that he didn't mind going to AA and listening, he found it quite interesting, but that he didn't really like the 'little rituals' they did, i think i realised then that he just wasn't commited to recovery and in fact even though he was telling me that he was definatly getting recovered, his behaviour and attitute showed me that he wasn't although i expect that in his mind, he really and genuinly believes that he is..it's just another form of denial.
I just feel that there is no hope.. there is nothing i can do or should try to do. I have to chuck in the towel as i can't deal with the dry drunk behaviour any more, it's destroying my own recovery from so dependancy -the condition is the winner and that hurts more than i can bare today. I feel so awful.