there are no screaming matches or crazy surprise
How about write up a contract that he has to sign (that way everything is in black and white).
No screaming, ranting, yelling, etc.
Chores done in a time manner.
Treat everyone in house with respect.
No drugs or alcohol.
Attends all therapy, meetings, etc
Gets a sponsor.
Take medications on time and eat properly.
Checking in with PO on regular basis.
Anything his PO would like to add to list.
etc just in list form.
i have the added stress that counsequences are tough to determine
Consequences in whatever order you deem as a progression:
No video gaming for X amount of hours, days, weeks.
Loss of video games for X amount of hours, days, weeks.
Loss of computer use for X amount of hours, days, weeks.
Loss of video gamer for X amount of hours, days, weeks.
Loss of cell phone and landline for X amount of hours, days, weeks.
etc
Since you are in contact with his PO, I would ask the PO what he/she would like added to the list, and I do believe it should be signed in FRONT OF the PO with the PO as 'witness' to the signatures.
Not that this would make it 'legal and binding' but I think it would put a bit more strength into it, with your son knowing that his PO goes along with this completely.
Then PO gets a copy, you have a copy, son has a copy and one copy goes on the REFRIGERATOR DOOR IN PROMINENT VIEW for all to see at any time.
Yes, I was thinking about some of this overnight (I am a 'night owl' lol).
There are some good Rehabs for Minors around the country, and some are even on a sliding scale and/or take really desperate cases.
Now I know this is going to sound a bit strange, but you may even want to contact the show Intervention ............................................ they really can and do work some 'miracles.' If they take your son on, they have connections with so many rehabs and they pay for the ticket (one way until they complete the entire program as laid out for the individual and they pay for the rehab). Looks like my cousin, his wife, and their heroin addicted daughter are going to be on it sometime in the future. They are working with them now.
I know, it's just a shot in the dark, but they have taken on 'dual problems' before and minors, so might just be worth the 'shot in the dark.' My cuz-in-law did the initial contact through the aetv.com/intervention web site with a long detailed email. They emailed her back then called and slowly things are falling into place.
Unfortunately Salvation Army, because he is only 16 and NOT emancipated would not take him at this time. Not until he is 18.
That's all I can think of for right now.
Again, prayers and good thoughts still winging their way to GA from NM.
Love and hugs,
PS I sent you a PM