A man with three years sober is not undateable - you just need to be careful. It sounds like you jump into relationships a bit fast to me. Addict or not - relationships take time to develop and it takes time to really get to know someone - there is a huge difference between love and infatuation or lust. Maybe you just need to slow things down a bit and not rush in - you seem to be giving your heart before you get to know these men and your heart is something you should protect because no one else is going to do that for you.