Chi-
dont know what to say- other than youre a good friend. I think Serenity kind of laid it out for you pretty well. I dont know your addiction situation, so i cant comment on that. But i can dam sure tell you i know experience with addiction, and if i can snap it after 20+ years you can. I have never been sober except the last 14 days, and rehab/detox did it- it wasnt easy the first 2 days but got much easier after that. Then I have been to the M word every day since I got out. The bottom line for me was that it really helped me (and continues to) to be around people that had/have similar problems so we could share experiences, successes and failures. I learned a crapload from those guys and gals. Hang in there, and I hope you find something that works for you.
much love-
dub