Hey....
Don't disappear... its ok to say meetings arent for you... there not for everyone... and i thought the idea of this site was we could get support and be able to express how we feel.... i dont see anything wrong in you doing that...
Im not sure who it is who you live with... one post said parents and another said room mate...
I too have never lived on my own.... tried it once.... didnt like it... ive always lived wih others... from parents, childrens home, homeless hostels, partners, and sharing flats...
It can be hard getting along with people and then feeling stuck that you have nowhere else to go or dont want to be alone... i get that... been there....
I know this probably wont help... but sometimes i just had to accept that there wasn't going to be a solution and get past it.... whether that be having a truce or avoidence for a while (which i know is hard when you live together)...
I had a bad week this week and i nearly drank.... but realised i would have been using it as an excuse because i am worth more and also i know there are other ways to deal with stuff... like you do....
I didn't need to do strenuous (not sure spelling).... Im no good with exercise.... i stumble and thats as close to a jog as i get :o)
But i did need to do something soothing... and not necessarily for me... so i did some clay modelling... its always easier for me to do stuff for others.... still not at the stage of having self worth.... but i am getting there...
Im sorry if this is no help.... please keep posting.... you'll work your way through this and we'll be here to support you.... the worst thing you could do is keep it in through anger...
please take care
be well
louis