Bam,
I have found it difficult as to what to say on this thread. I think if someone really wants to drink then they will and there's nothing we can say to stop them.
The only thing i would say is to take one day at a time. I know for myself i sometimes forget that and starting worrying about what may happen tomorrow, next week, next month or next year.
For me things have got better since i stopped drinking, so i find it difficult to relate to posts where someone says that they haven't. I have had my s**t moments, but as a whole i feel life is better without the drink.
My thoughts are with you, i hope you find some peace.
Paul