I have no history with abusing pills (just alcohol
) but I have been dealing with anxiety.
I have been sober for 17 months (since December 2007).
December 2007 to September 2008 was a period of relatively low anxiety, my recovery progressing, some stress but manageable.
From September 2008 to April 2009, I experienced periods of serious anxiety. It started with the stock market crash and other "major" disturbances in my life. I also started to let relatively minor things drive me crazy.
Finally, I just had enough. My life is good - enough of that BS, my mind telling me otherwise.
And the past month or so has been just fine. For the most part, accepting life on life's terms, grateful for everything, focused, at peace - happy!
My answer has been spiritual growth - through the steps, spiritual readings (Wayne Dwyer, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle), and
practice.
It sounds simple (because it is) but I can just focus (or meditate) on peace and have it. We all can. I look at my life this very moment - my family is fine, I'm healthy, I have a good job, I'm sober - what more can I ask for?
After the first 9 months of my sobriety the panic attacks went away.
So you know that it
is possible. Take some comfort in that - that this too shall pass. You can & will find a way to get through this.