Originally Posted by
gneiss 
I wouldn't have signed up to be an alkie or druggie beforehand, but at this point I would not trade those experiences. It sucks, it's hard work, it's no fun. But, know thyself, right? I've learned more about myself than I think would have been possible otherwise. I've learned more about what I expect from myself; more about setting limits; more about what I expect from others, especially men I am involved with... the list goes on.
Well, this is certainly a positive way to look at things and kudos to you for achieving this.
I barely passed classes my last semester in undergrad school and mostly don't remember anything. I stumbled into grad school at my last-choice school on academic probation because I was more interested in getting high than going to class. Drugs were so close to taking everything I think is important. And now I have a feeling of accomplishment. I took my life back. I pulled my head out of my @$$, knuckled down, and quit using. I pulled off a 4.0 GPA for my first semester of grad school. I got rid of the people who were bringing me down. I straightened up most of the problems I caused. And now I feel like there's not much to stop me. I feel like I've been just about as low as I can go in my life and I survived it.
Major congrats on that 4.0 GPA. When I quit drinking before, I started college. I barely graduated high school. Actually, was in rehab my last semester and I think they felt sorry for me so they pushed me through. I achieved excellent grades at college and went on to earn an MBA and another certificate in HR management (did get a 4.0 GPA on that deal). I was drinking through grad school and the certificate thingy too. I think to myself - I sure could have gone a lot further in life had I gotten my act together. Oh well, life isn't over yet
As for your boyfriend... my ex also says all the time that women all want him. When anyone else is around it's always: "She wants to **** me." Gawd I got sick of it. But I think, in his case, he did it out of his own insecurity. He knew it made me jealous or possessive and I think he kind of liked that. It reassured him that I was still interested. When no one else was around he would make comments that he wasn't that good-looking, women didn't find him attractive, etc. It wasn't until I read the comments above that I put 2 and 2 together and realized that underneath his brash and confident exterior is someone who has let slip a little bit that he is not as confident as he seems; makes me wonder if it was a bit of an act because he thought I might like that or if I saw something in him that he does not normally let people see. I have met/talked to several of his exes and they definitely never saw the insecurity. As far as I can tell he never said anything like that to them, it was always about how many women wanted him rather than how many women didn't want him. Wow. Puts his drunk-dialed "I'm sorry I hurt you, I love you, and want you in my life because I can't be the person I want to be without you" from a week ago in a whole new light. I figured he was just hammered and babbling. Oh dear.
Very interesting insights and thanks.
I saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past this afternoon and bawled in the theater. It's supposed to be an air-headed chick flick and much like Confessions of a Shopaholic it hit home in a lot of painful ways.
Hmm, sounds like it's worth seeing.
Thanks to everyone for the posts. What a weird night for me.
Yup, thanks all.