Originally Posted by
gerryP 
Katie,
Is he more supportive of you when you are not drinking and trying and seemingly not supportive when you do drink?
Maybe this is becoming too much work for him. We're not supposed to have to change for another person. It sounds like he has his issues and you have yours and both of you are trying to change each other (tho quitting drinking for good would be of benefit to you regardless.) If he doesn't treat you the way you expect, you say you drink. Do you think you are trying to punish him indirectly, or directly? Ever hear the line. I will drink this poison in hopes to kill you?
Excellent questions. He hates my drinking and has no patience for it. He is supportive of my sobriety.
It may well be becoming too much work for him, but he's a lot of work for me too, although he just cannot see it. No, I am not trying to punish him, as I don't subject him to it in person except when dragged to a casino for three hours. He has his own issues. I drink because I hate confronting issues that I need to but will result in people getting volatile, so I avoid them. I avoid them through drinking. These are the things I am learning in IOP. No, I won't be getting any awards there and I'm ok with that. The important thing is to gain knowledge and insight I can apply. I am supposed to be addressing things as they arise, but I am loathe to do that as I don't want a blowout. Much easier to pick up a drink. My two choices with him are to say how I feel and deal with the consequences (never good) and not and not fix me. The other choice is to take a stand he won't like which will result in huge discomfort and not take a drink. Either way, I am damned and either way it ends things.
Since I don't have an unlimited supply of funds, I am afraid he gets the boot unless he changes too. I need to focus on me and now is the time to do it. Thanks for your thoughts.
