Originally Posted by
standing 
Am I just trying to find an excuse for my social problems, boughts of depression, and failure at intimate relationships? I feel like a 25 year child and misfit.
Not much I can add to the replies you've already got, but just speaking as a 46-year-old misfit who does not totally feel like a grownup, I can say for sure that none of the stuff you're describing is an "excuse" -- it's part of who you are. Growing up in an alkie household does this -- it is NOT our fault that we had trouble dealing with it.
That's why I've been going to more ACoA and not quite as much Al-Anon (which I've been going to since '95) in recent months. ACoA offers more concrete steps, in the sense of, "This is what you need to do if you want to get better."
T