Sending you hugs, standing. Your upbringing sounds very much like mine, and well, like all of ours here on the board.
You are not alone, you are not crazy, you are not self-centered, and you are not whining.
You were simply the child of an addict, and bear the emotional burden of that.
I'm so glad you found us. All of us have suffered, and all of us have common traits as a result. Together, we share ideas, insights, support, even advice, to help one another work through our challenges and lead better, happier lives.
You have a right to that. Your mother is making her own choices, and suffering her own consequences. Sad as that is, it is out of your control.
But you CAN control your own life, and start to move in the direction of healing.
:ghug