Hello there, standing, and welcome to our little corner of recovery
Originally Posted by
standing 
... Was it normal to spend weekends in hotel rooms as a child, getting checked on by drunk parents....
nope. Definetly _not_ normal. And not _healthy_ either. Having been raised by drunks myself I can tell you it is, unfortunately, common.
Originally Posted by
standing ... Am I overexagerating,....
nope. Being raised by drunks is a very painful experience. Children are _not_ adults, and lack the emotional strength with which to deal with those kinds of situations. That's why it hurts so much.
Originally Posted by
standing ... Am I too busy thinking about myself, when I should be helping her?....
Nope on that one also. One of the things we talk a lot about is called "boundaries" and "enabling". Basically, those are concepts that help us decide when it is apropriate to help somebody who truly is in need, and when we need to stay away from somebody who is perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. It took me awhile to learn how to do that, as I was raised to always cover up and protect my drunk parents.
Originally Posted by
standing ... I sometimes get mad at myself, thinking I'm just being whiney. ....
Doesn't sound like "whiney" to me. "Whiney" sounds like something my parents would acuse me of in order to keep me under control and brainwashed into denial.
Originally Posted by
standing ... I mean, she was the one that was physically abused as a child. ....
If she was physically abused as a child she can go see any one of thousands of shrinks and get her head straightened out. She can get into any one of many recovery programs from churches to AA to SMART and on and on. There is a world of opportunities for her to get off the chaos of addiction and become a responsible adult.
Which is what _you_ are doing by posting on this forum.
Originally Posted by
standing ...I was only slapped rarely, and it never left a bruise. ....
Not on the outside you didn't get a bruise. However, child abuse creates "bruises" on the _inside_. I was both physically and emotionally abused. The physical damage healed up quickly, and the pain from those injuries faded within a few weeks. The _emotional_ injuries stayed with me well into adulthood and took a _lot_ of work to heal up.
Originally Posted by
standing ... Am I just trying to find an excuse for my social problems, boughts of depression, and failure at intimate relationships?....
Nope ( aren't you getting tired of me saying "nope"?
)
For me it wasn't an "excuse", for me it was the "diagnosis". I had social problems, low self-esteem, difficulties with relationships, hostility towards authority, and on and on as a result of having been raised in a "toxic family". Nobody ever _taught_ me how to get along with other humans. All I learned was how to survive in a bar disguised as a family.
Once I knew the diagnosis for my toxic emotional reactions I knew where to go find the "medicine", which for me was a few good shrinks and lots of 12 step programs.
Originally Posted by
standing ... I feel like a 25 year child and misfit.....
Not around here, you fit in just fine. We're all working on getting rid of our "toxic" upbringing and building a new life for ourselves that is happy, joyous and free.
Welcome again, I'm glad you decided to join us.
Mike