I support my kid when he is walking a good path. Now, that means I've ridden the roller coaster longer than I would prefer because there's been some big bumps along the way. But he's also enjoyed extended clean times. I think its the latter that keeps me in hope, but can sometimes lead to excruciating disappointment.
But I do this because its what I'm comfortable with and not because I feel I have to, or that it will save him from himself. And I know I have only myself to blame if I start taking the clean him for granted and assume all is "better"
I'm a single parent, so my choices are not driving a wedge between my husband and I (I suppose that's one advantage
) I can afford for him to live here, so financial hardship isn't a factor. My biggest, deepest line in the sand is respect for me and my home. No temper tantrums, no verbal disrespect, and he better not EVEN think of keeping me awake at night, for ANY reason. The odd things is I would show him the door in a split second if that occurred.
Probably one of the best things I've gained since coming here is the ability to really look at my motives behind my actions. And, I now know I have "permission" to make choices according to what I feel is right at the time.
If I come to the point where he is no longer welcome, it does not mean I'm a poor parent. If I chose to open my home to him I'm not a poor parent.
As long as I'm honest with myself, I'm OK with my decisions.
(((Hugs)))