I'm so sorry, Robinsfly. You'll get more responses here tomorrow.
Be prepared for his addict behaviors to ramp into high gear. When we draw a line, the addiction is threatened and it increases its hold on the addict, to try to take back control of US. When we say no, all hell breaks loose. That is because to progress, the addiction needs everyone to cooperate and to NOT change the status quo.
Your behavior threatens your partner's denial that he is not falling apart. If things remain status quo, he can convince himself that he is succeeding and it is YOU that is the problem. This can really mess up your mind. And rob you of all resolve because you doubt everything you think and do.
It is quite simple: drinking and drugging is a deal breaker in a relationship. All the other "issues" are moot.
Stay strong. Stay safe. If you cave, you step back on the roller coaster.