Boredom was always a huge trigger for me and my first thought for so long was to drink it away, so I have some idea of what that may be like for you. I DO believe that eventually those thoughts will fade, Trish.Each time we say no to them and stop ourselves 'running down that track' we get a little bit stronger.
The thought of drinking still occurs for me-but I can dismiss it much more easily these days, but like you, I've relapsed quite a few times in the past two years, yet these days?Those thoughts just don't have the same power over me anymore like they used to.
I've become an expert, though at distracting myself till they go away.Some of that has been rediscovering the things that I used to love doing.Baking, gardening, sewing...
I'm just wondering-what is it you enjoy doing?You have two days off and some money to play with, so why not use it doing something that nurtures you?Like HL said-go to the movies....go see a play?I know you love music-what about buying yourself a new cd you've wanted? You mentioned a while ago you were growing some tomatoes?Do you have a garden there or are they in pots?Maybe go to a garden center and buy some flowers to grow in pots? Go for a walk and take photos of whatever interests you maybe?
I know these sound like simple ideas-but I just find re-engaging in activites like this while partly distracting me from the thought of drinking, also nurture me in living a different life.
As Anna said-you are a smart woman.What could you do that feeds that part of yourself?
I do believe it will get better for you but it means you have to make some changes too-that's the harder part.I know you can do this.Hang in there,
Jules xox