I'm doing ok
It is 9 weeks since I left the A and in that time I have had no contact. The court case is still rumbling on but it does so on the periphery of my life and it is one of those things that I tackle when it throws a bridge in my way to cross. I barely allow myself time to think about him and if I do, I do not allow sentiment to get in the way of remembering the whole.. the good and the bad.
I am in a safe place and working on building a new life for myself. I've reconnected with some old friends (one of whom is a guy I was never allowed to speak to during that relationship) and it feels good to be able to just say 'hi, how are you doing' without any drama or without having to pretend that everything is ok. I've also made a bunch of new friends and while I don't have the capacity emotionally to make any substantial type of connection with people yet, I'm still enjoying it on a basic 'hanging out' level. I've also met a guy who is incredibly sweet, lovely and just normal (!) and while I'm not contemplating a full blown romantic thing with anyone right now, he is restoring my faith. It is always nice to be told you are incredible even if you don't always believe it
Physically I'm doing well. I'm out of the splint and with physioptherapy I'm progressing nicely. It is hard work and requires dedication to exercise and massage, but it is paying off. The scar does not look too bad and while it is a horrible reminder it is also a sign of how lucky I am and how far I have come.
I have bad moments but I remind myself that they are just punctuation marks in what is generally good. I'm in counselling and still attending al-anon. They are like top ups during the week to remind me that I have a life still ahead of me and that it can be.. no will be... wonderful.
It is both wonderful and scary.. but the whole world is my oyster right now.