Ten years ago today, I was holed up in a cheap hotel room with my dog, several miles from my house, because I couldn't bear to go home. I'd just learned that my then-ABF had gotten another woman pregnant, had been visiting the (same-sex) bathhouses whenever I was away, and couldn't pay his bills so was probably going to have to declare bankruptcy. All on top of the drinking, drugs, lying, sneaking around, verbal abuse, and other typical alcoholic problems.
Truly, I felt like I didn't want to live another day. But then there was my dog, sprawled on the hotel bed with his chewie bone, watching Animal Planet. I couldn't exactly leave him. So I mopped up my tears, threw away the mountain of used kleenex, got on my laptop and found a counselor, a local Al-Anon meeting, and a lawyer. And started putting one ragged hand above the other, and climbing out of the pit.
Today? Well, there are now TWO dogs on the bed watching Animal Planet, but it's at the little mountain house I share with my husband, here in our little town of 30,000. Work is okay (slowing down a bit, so I'm a little on edge some days). I wake up every morning and chase the elk & deer away from the lettuce in the garden. I planted potatoes in trash cans this year, figuring I can always live on potatoes!!
I have a new set of friends, I've gone back to college, and I can spend time volunteering out here, where there are really some of the coolest people I've ever "met."
Today...I'm happy. I have faith that whatever comes, I'll be able to get through it, learn from it, and keep moving ever-deeper into happiness.
Hugs to everybody and especially you, bookwyrm, for starting this thread
